28. [ RL with Karkat ]

[areyoulovers]

[ The Vashtis keep up a safehouse in the suburbs of Warsaw, a brick terraced house that has (fake) flowers in the window boxes and generally gives an air of generic homey-ness. Unlike some safehouses (Setsuna), it's fully furnished, albeit unusually organized, because no one actually lives there; but Mileina's made a movie-watching sanctuary in the living room. There are brightly colored pillows and a plush throw on the couch, and she's placed a selection of snacks and drinks on the coffee table.

(Actually, she had told Tieria to make the snacks, because he was generally being grumpy and clearly needed something to do!!! She had discreetly called her father and asked him to make up something to ask Tieria about that would keep him occupied, at least while Karkat was arriving, so as to not scare him off, so Tieria was currently upstairs on his phone, debating some aspect of the new blueprints.)

Anyway, after Karkat had been worldhopped directly into the living room, so as to not cause mass panic on the streets, she greets him excitedly, a pillow shaped like an octopus in her arms ]

You made it safely! I hope that you like the snacks I have, I completely forgot to ask what trolls eat!

Comments

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[It is one huge freakin' culture shock.

It doesn't help that he's already trying to figure out the WHAT and the WHO and the HOW of worldhopping at the same time he's taking in his new surroundings with wide, yellow eyes and a wrinkled nosed. Watching John and the other humans grow up over the computer was nothing compared to actually visiting a human abode in real life. And he had no idea how to deal.

So while Mileina greet him happily (oh god a human in the flesh how was he supposed to react what was he doing?!), he just kind of... spins around, gaze darting across the room in surprise]

What the fu-- [CULTURE SHOCK. SUCH A HUGE CULTURE SHOCK]

This... this is a human hive?

[areyoulovers]

Yes! Um, to be honest, I don't usually live here-- my real home is in space, you see, but I'm not allowed to introduce aliens into the environment... um, no offense, of course! But this is a completely normal human hive. Or rather, human house!

[ poor Karkat looks so confused ;o; She will endeavor to help him!! ]

If you'd like any explanations, I'd be happy to give them! I'm sure it must look very different from what you're used to.

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[SO CONFUSED INDEED. But hey, he cannot be blamed]

I'm fine! It's just different than, well. You know. Watching it on a computer screen.

[Already moving forward to poke a couch]

What the hell is this?

[areyoulovers]

It's a couch! You sit on it, see? [ she demonstrates by bouncing down onto it :D ] It's traditional to watch movies from a couch!

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

. . .

[follows her lead, only with much less enthusiasm.

then stares at the TV]

[areyoulovers]

[ ...follows his line of sight? --OH! ] That's a television! Now that I think about it, I hope that troll movies work on human equipment... could you let me see one of your movies, please?

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

Why the fuck would I not know what a television is? We have to watch our movies from something too, we just don't have these-- [POKES COUCH] -- couch things.

Oh. Right.

[Digging into his pocket.

And pulling out what looks like a normal DVD??]

[areyoulovers]

Well, you still looked a little confused, that's all!

[ she takes the DVD from him and investigates it, turning it over in her hands ] Oh, what a relief! This looks like the sort of media they use in Pearl's time. It's outdated by now, but I already have a DVD player set up to work with our current technology, because of the Steel Samurai! [ she jumps back up off the couch, and makes her way over to the television (a flat screen hanging on the wall that's a little old-fashioned for 2311), where a DVD player is sitting in a tangle of wires ]

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

Be careful with that!

[HE WILL BE DISPLEASED IF SHE SCRATCHES THE DVD OF HIS FAVORITE MOVIE ;;]

[areyoulovers]

Don't worry, I know to hold it by the edges! [ dvd tray comes out pchooooo dvd goes in ] What is the movie called, by the way?

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

It's called, "In which the main character, who is played by Troll Bill Murray, relives the exact same day for a time span of 10,000 sweeps, and in which he slowly descends into a state of madness as the same day passes by without changing without his prompting, in which there is a bank robbery, in which Troll Bill Murray punches an annoying character in the face, in which there is a really cool explosion, and in which Troll Bill Murray realizes that his fated matesprite was right next to him all along without him realizing."

It's one of my favorites, so don't mess it up.

[areyoulovers]

[ BLINK BLINK ]

Um, are all troll movies titled like that?

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

They're a fuck ton more informative than your short and shitty human movie titles. How do you even known what happens in the damn film if your titles are so short?

[areyoulovers]

Well, I think in human culture, people enjoy being surprised by a movie rather than being informed at the beginning! [ she bounces back to the couch and picks up the clicker to play the movie. And then picks up another clicker and uses that one instead, because it's a universal constant that the clicker you try first is never the one you need ]

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

Right, right. More cultural differences. [He's beginning to wonder if he'll ever get them all]

[areyoulovers]

It's all right! I'll enjoy the movie properly, with a troll mindset!

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

Damn right you will.

[... glancing over at those snacks right now]

[areyoulovers]

I wasn't sure what trolls eat, but I thought I'd offer snacks anyway! That's popcorn, and those are gummy worms, and those are chocolate bars...

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[... poking at the gummy worms]

[areyoulovers]

[ she picks one up and eats it to demonstrate as the DVD menu screen comes up ] They're a little sweet! The different colors are different flavors.

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

Terezi would have a field day with the red ones.

[opens his mouth and pops one inside-- except in the process of chewing it get stuck on one of his fangs DX]

[areyoulovers]

[ karkat what is that strange face... ] Karkat, are you all right?

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[He tries to say 'I HAVE THE SOFT AND SQUISHY THINKS STUCK ON MY FUCKING TEETH,' but it comes out more like incomprehensible mumbling]

[areyoulovers]

--Oh no! Are you having problems eating those?? Um, try your best, because I don't think I can help!

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[Opens his mouth wiiiide and pulls the gummy worm free]

Why would humans want to eat such disgustingly squishy food that obviously easily gets stuck in your teeth?

[areyoulovers]

Well, that's because our teeth aren't the same as yours! See? [ she opens her mouth wide for inspection!! and then turns back toward the screen ] Oh, let's start the movie now!

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[... peers at her, and then leans back on the couch with a grumpy grump]

[areyoulovers]

The chocolate bars might be the safest for you to eat! [ she presses play on the clicker, and settles back with a handful of popcorn, ready for this intensely moving experience ]

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[taking her advice and reaching for the chocolate since... yeah. gummy worms are not working]

Pay attention to the beginning, it's the most important part of the entire fucking movie.

[areyoulovers]

Yes! I'll pay attention properly! [ STARES INTENSELY AT THE SCREEN she is probably not even making fun of him ]

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[... but he think she is]

Hey, hey. I mean that seriously! Don't make fun of me. I get enough of that shit from Sollux and the others.

Only because they don't have the ability to appreciate these movies for what they're worth.

[areyoulovers]

But I am being serious! Watching an alien movie is probably going to be confusing at first, so I should pay extra attention to make sure I can understand the beginning!

[ LOOK AT THESE SINCERE EYES

YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO SINCERE IN YOUR LIFE ]

[goddamncrabby.livejournal.com]

[THAT'S RIGHT. HE HASN'T.]

Well. That's good. Because if you don't your puny little human mind will miss all of the important parts.

[areyoulovers]

[ After about five minutes... ]

Is Groundhog Day a real troll holiday? It's such a funny name!